Over the past few months I have been, mainly, swiping left on the dating app Bumble. I am what you call an outgoing introvert. Most people mistakenly think I’m extroverted because when I am in a group of friends or family I am at the center. I’m the one making people laugh and ensuring everyone is having a good time.
As it turns out this is less because I am outgoing and more because I am a care giver. I find myself exhausted after an afternoon or evening like this and need to retreat to recharge.
So the prospect of meeting a cool guy by simply swiping seemed like a good option. Full discloser I live in a small resort town nestled in the mountains outside of Glacier National Park and the dating pool is pretty shallow.
When I began to swipe I found myself rarely swiping right and when I did they inevitably weren’t full time residents of the area. I seem to lack commonality with the locals. That’s not to say I am better or worse than anyone here, but rather I am attracted to a certain type of man and those men don’t call this place home.
So, on the rare occasion I had a match it turned into a texting conversation that left me feeling bored and annoyed in a quick fashion. My life is busy. I do not have time to text you good morning every day or to respond to your good morning.
There is also no way that I am going to send you any photo of myself in any state of undress. Hell no! Move along.
This is by no means an indication of my feelings for you. If I a make an effort – then I care. If I ask you how your day is – I care to know the answer. If I make space for you – then I care.
The thing is I have a guy friend that literally sends good morning texts to five different women he met on Bumble each morning. I spit my beer on the ground when he shared this bit of information with me. He doesn’t have any intention of getting to know any of these women.
You throw it out there and see what sticks. That’s his motto.
I really hope that dating isn’t a series of texts now. I get it – I am out of the loop but I genuinely love spending time with people that I care about and I want to get all the things done so that I can spend actually time with them. That must still be acceptable, right?!
I have a close friend that met a cool guy she has been dating for awhile now on Bumble. She is an extrovert and will happily pursue a man. I will not. This among other factors is why I still find myself dateless.
I am a catch! I am intelligent, attractive, and holding out for my Chris. Not sure who Chris is? Catch up here!
I recently deleted my Bumble account. I rarely went on the app and honesty found the experience underwhelming. I had one day date – he didn’t like tacos, among other things.
So ladies if you are like me – it’s time to stop swiping and start talking. Push yourself to have the conversation. Smile at the cute guy at the gym when he looks your way for the 100th time. Reevaluate your can’t and turn it into a can. You can make the first move. You can have it your way. You can get the right guy. He’s out there and maybe just waiting for you to say hello – in person. xoxo