A few weeks ago I was getting dressed after showering and in walked my beautiful 10 year old daughter, Bella. She proceed to do her mom proud with her bluntness.
“Are those your only panties, Mom? They aren’t very pretty.”
I looked down at my not very attractive, yet very functional panties, and turned my nose up at her. She was right. In my haste of being a single mama and running my own business I was beginning to turn into just a functional person. I mean I start my days at the gym, rarely wear makeup, and spend the majority of my time at my desk, alone. So, what panties I am wearing hasn’t exactly been on my radar.
Let’s be honest. No one is seeing my panties right now and that is more than likely the real reason that all the pretty ones have worked their way to the bottom of the bin. I mean, whenever I get dressed up to go to dinner or whatnot I totally put them on. Which I guess hasn’t been that frequent either. Darn responsibilities always catching up with me.
This little interaction did land me in the pretty panty section. I spent far too much money and far too much time trying to decide what would make me feel sexy and also work for my life. Two bags later I left the store. I brought all of my new purchases home where they have remained in the bags, on the floor of my closet – with the exception of five mildly attractive pairs. I just can’t bring myself to slip into a sexy black hiphugger for my latest trip to the Starbucks. Let’s be honest, they aren’t that comfortable and I am still questioning the purchases.
I know, I should want to feel my best everyday. I spent the better part of my work life in dresses and heels. Hair always done and makeup applied, while I’ve never been good at it, I’ve also never looked like a “before” photo. I think I’m in a rut. I mean Harper, my 7 pound Yorkie, doesn’t care what I’m wearing just as long as I am home with him.
I also started doing this thing a couple years ago, getting eyelash extensions, and that really started the “no makeup” look. I mean you use a good moisturizer and brush them out and you’re good to go. It’s simple and while not in everyone’s budget – they make what I feel is my best feature, my eyes, pop.
So, this leaves me in my current state. Writing this in yoga pants and a t-shirt, with a high bun because I’m not getting my hair done until tomorrow, with fresh and stunning eyelash extensions, in medium”ish” pretty panties. Hey, it’s an improvement, but, it leaves me wondering if I should go get dressed and wear some real clothes.
The thing is, I am always attracted to well dressed men. There is just something about a handsome man in a well fitted button up shirt that does it for me. Huge bonus if he can figure out the correct fitting pants as well – swoon.
Guess what, that doesn’t happen in Montana very frequently. Sorry Montana men – you totally have the North Face, rugged look down and that is also appealing – just not quite the same. So, maybe I am just finding myself adapting to my surroundings.
I am taking a trip back home next week and as I went through my closet to start packing – to my dismay I discovered that I dress like a Montana girl now. I have more hiking tights, yoga pants, and pullovers than dresses. Shit!! Oh, and as I was writing this, a delivery arrived from REI with yet another pair of tights and a new pullover. Double shit!
So I did what every girl does and texted her most straightforward girlfriend.
“Do you think I need dress up more?”
“No, you don’t go anywhere!”
“Well, maybe I should go somewhere.”
“You’re coming here (Ohio) next week.”
“Yeah, I mean maybe while I am in Montana I should venture out of my house more.”
“Maybe you should go on a date!”
“ I went on a date!!”
“That doesn’t count!
“WHAT?! Why doesn’t that count? “
“Because he doesn’t live near you and I bet you didn’t even dress up for him.”
“We were hiking most of the time. My hiking clothes are cute.”
“If it involves a sports bra it isn’t cute and we’re looking for sexy not cute btw. Do you ever want to have sex again?”
“I bought new sports bras that were really flattering thank you very much!”
“But did he see them?”
(I attempted to come up with something witty at this point…)
“That’s what I thought. I know you! You are wearing all your “I’m not pretty” clothes as an excuse. Maybe you should take some of your own advice and put your big girl pants on and stop whining.”
“You really think it didn’t count as a date?”
“Yes, it counts. I’m proud of you. Love you. Now, go put on some real clothes because I bet you are still in yoga pants.”
I trotted to my closet and got changed for the day. Yes, it is nearly 2pm and I am not leaving the house again, but sometimes you just have to put your big girl pants on and apparently panties, to feel like a real girl.